Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I am tired of my surroundings. I am fatigued and apathetic. Every single day is the same as the last. Wake up at 5:30 AM, use the bathroom, take a shower, get dressed, do my hair, brush my teeth, eat cereal and a cup of tea, go to school at 7:10, study, work, "learn", lunch, study, work, "learn", go home at 2:40, have a snack, do homework, check Facebook, watch TV, eat dinner, go on my computer, brush teeth, get changed, go to bed. Every single day. It's a monotonous daily routine that controls my life 10 months a year. Weekends and breaks from school are spent doing school work. The other two months are spent hanging out with friends and going on vacation to Cape May or to my grandparents' house.
I also have realized that when I get a job this summer its going to be the same. Except for it will be getting up at 7:30 AM, and going home between 6 and 9 PM. College will likely be the same monotonous cycle. And so will the next 40 to 45 years or so after I graduate. In other words, my life will be the average American's.
You spend 60 years doing things you don't like, then you retire and have grandkids to take care of until you die. And if you don't have grandkids, then you can live out your years doing things you've never gotten to do before, but with limits. Age takes a toll on you, so when you're 80, and you've spent your life hunched over a computer in a windowless cubicle, you realize you can't climb the Matterhorn or canoe down the Amazon. (I know both of these are far-fetched but they're just examples.
I need a vacation. I need to do something I've never done before and go places I've never been. I want to backpack across Europe and drive a classic muscle car across the United States. I want to see Rome and climb the Eiffel Tower. I want to visit Alaska in the summer and hike across Ireland. I want to visit the lands of my ancestors: Ireland, Scotland, England, Italy, Germany, Slovakia.
I need to feel alive.
Not that I feel dead or anything, I just feel that there has to be something more in life than working endlessly and when you stop working, you're too old and tired to do anything for yourself anymore. We as Americans work too hard, and dig ourselves into an early grave because of it. We try to keep ourselves alive by taking a hundred pills and supplements, to keep us alive and working and do nothing to empty our pockets. We as Americans need to stop working and have some fun once in a while.
