Saturday, July 10, 2010

Mon chat "My cat"

As some of you know, (like 1/3 of the 15 people actually reading this) I adopted a cat last fall. Although she is extremely adorable, she can also be extremely annoying. But in a cute way. (I have to say this because she is watching me type this and if I don't say something nice, she will likely murder me in my sleep.)
Anyway, she can be annoying in ways that are cute to the people around you. For example, yesterday she decided to lie down on my lap while I was watching TV. I wasn't in a very comfortable position. Although she was cute and purring, I really had to pee. So I get up, and she jumped off. She also was angry with me for about fifteen minutes.
She also has this look that makes you think she's going to murder your family. And then lead a cat uprising to enslave humanity.
But besides that, she also tends to knead on soft objects, mainly my pillows, the sofa, throw blankets and my bed. She purrs while doing so, making it extremely hard to concentrate. Did I mention, when she purrs SHE SOUNDS LIKE A FREAKING MOTOR.
The purring I have gotten used to. Her antics, not so much.
When she wants to play and no one is around, she terrorizes my sister's dog. When I mean "no one is around" I mean by "my mom is at work, my grandma's asleep, my dad's blowing up robots on his computer, my sister is making lunch, and I'm in the shower. (I normally don't wake up until about noon.) She (my cat) does so, by hiding under the sofa, and when the dog walks by, BAM! She jumps at the dog, nearly scratching her (the dog) across the face. The dog is now and forever, afraid of the cat. And the dog is a 10-year-old beagle who is overweight and has arthritis. Not even fair game.
And she (my cat) does the most annoying thing in the world. She loves laying down on paper. So while I read a book, she will lay down in the book and wave her tail in my face. Why? Because my cat is an attention whore.
(If my cat were a high school student, she'd be the stereotypical cheerleader. Pretty, vicious and always craving attention.)
She also unplugged my printer while I was working. Although what I was working on (downloading crap for The Sims 3 off of the Exchange) didn't require printing, I would need it next week for a French project. My desk is against a wall. I had to get between my desk and the wall to plug it in again.
She also runs on my school schedule, which is: up at 5:30 AM and go to sleep at 10:00 PM. So she comes to me at 9:30 trying to get me to bed by 10. The latest she stays up is 11:00. In the summer, I stay up until 2-3:00 AM and wake up at noon. Unless I have to be up in the morning.
And on a more recent note, she decided to take a nap in my sock drawer. On the bright side, she taught me to keep my dresser drawers closed.
I think she just does these things to piss me off. So she can watch me go into an OCD-related implosion of a large portion of my brain.
End rant.

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Three Caballeros

So I can't sleep at all, and neither could my sister. So after we sat down and annoyed my mom with stories about David Bowie and Alice in Wonderland until she kicked us out of her room, we had nothing to do. So I went through all the movies I downloaded, and found that my dad downloaded EVERY SINGLE DISNEY ANIMATED MOVIE EVER MADE. And I don't just mean the good ones, I mean ALL OF THEM. Everything from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" to the "Princess and the Frog" were downloaded. (This also includes the ones I don't like, such as "Dumbo", "Pinocchio" and "Song of the South".) My sister and I decided to sit down and watch a montage of Disney movies, starting with "The Three Caballeros". I haven't seen it since I was about ten, so I went along with my sister's decision.
It was a mistake. Not a terrible mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. Here were my problems with it:
1. Alice In Wonderland made more sense.
2. How does a penguin deal with the change in climate between the South Pole and the Galapagos?
3. A random Amazon bird that looks like Woody the Woodpecker.
4. Dancing Brazilian gondoliers? WTF?
5. Yaya does not look South American. She looks like a mix between the Chiquita lady and those women dressed as tavern wenches at a Renaissance Faire.
6. Swirling colors, a dance sequence and strange guitars, of love?
7. Flying donkeys? What?!
8. I'm pretty sure I saw a guy in the same suit Jose was wearing. It was in a history textbook. And it wasn't 1945.
So yeah, it was a confusing mindfuck. Besides the fact that swirling colors normally mean being drunk or on acid. See: Pink Elephants from "Dumbo" or "I Am the Walrus" from "Across the Universe".
Yes, Disney. I know you guys were targeting kids. And nothing makes sense when a six-year-old is on a sugar high. But when this is what you guys come up with, you need better writers. And possibly actors.
But at least make some sense! This movie seems to be a nine-year-old's perception of Latin America. (Without the beach resorts and Mexican food.) If that nine-year-old had something put in his Juicy Juice. Who also liked Donald Duck. And donkeys. And birds.
In my opinion, this movie was...forgettable. You'll vaguely remember it as "that movie with Donald Duck and those birds" ten years from now. Or ten minutes. Matters how you think...
End rant/review.